Simmo02

Talking to friends sometimes brings back memories. Memories that I once thought as lost. I recalled most of my relationship with Tasha to a friend. And the situation of Tori to another. It was good to get them into a summarised form, becuase I really havent dont that before. It also undoubtably showed me what I have lost more than ever. But I did not feel utterly depressed. Just lonely, a pain that I cannot purge from my heart. A feeling that will never disappear. But the friend helped me understand that I will find someone eventually. As everyone keeps on telling me. I know that someone is out there that will find me attractive and want to be with me. And every other experience will pale in comparison. That person will offer emotional support beyond comparison and I will do the same. Sometimes I wonder, I fear that my next relationship will be a bandaid for what the pain I am feeling now, and it will not be 'real'. But I when I really think about it, I know that will not happen. My writings centre around loss, but they also focus on the longing, the wanting of someone special. I seek a relationship that will be better than the others (anything is an improvement). But I also have a strong belief that a relationship goes two ways.
I am only really happy when I know that someone likes me for who I am. Wants me for who I am, and will one day love me for who I am. I do not seek to change for this person, but to change with her. Relationships are a path and you walk it together, learning, growing. One day that path may part and sadly, it has to happen to some relationships. But there are the relationships that will go on for ever. And they will be happy together for the rest of their lives. There were times when they are unsure of the path, they go through it toghether, and become stronger together and that is what will make the relationship last forever. They are the only relationships that should last. Becuase negative relationships hurt both people, and the only thing that would come out of the relationship lasting longer is, that the two people will leave despising each other. And I never want that to happen to any of my relationships.
Friends help me bring order to my thoughts. When I am confused, I turn to them and they help me. I also hope that I help them at times too. Because I was not only talking about the intimate relationship between two people. But would also hope that friends can travel a similar path and be there for each other too. Partners will not always be there for you, but your true friends will be there when you fall and help you through the really hard times. And give you hope in your world of darkness. And then you will find another partner that will make all of lifes tortures worth it. And will show you a new type of happiness.
wow, that was a good rant, I think I should also post it on DA too :)
Thanks for reading it.
And thankyou to my friends for helping me through everything.
I love you guys *hugs*
//Simmo