Saturday, April 10, 2004
I worry, I worry that I will never experience what I did with Tasha ever again. I know that everything and more will happen eventually, but that doesnt help me at the moment.
A comment of "Tasha was so pretty" just made me remember how lucky I was to have her, and how unlucky I am now. (Dont worry Nashua anything can make me remember things, thats why I write so many blogs :P )
I just miss everything about Tasha, to look at her, hold her hand, listen to her voice. I know it was a relationshop where not much happened, but it doesnt mean that it didnt mean a lot to me. And however little I experienced, I still appreciated it, and want it again (although obviously with someone new).
And now that I have this "little crush" on Tori, it is just making myself feel for uncomfortable about myself or should I say insecure?
I knew this would happen, if I dont have validation on something I take it to the extremes, as I said in one of my earlier posts. I would much rather know anything, good or bad, at least it is better than thinking of something that is a fabrication of my own imagination.
But yet I stil write :P lol. And I write to get things out in the open, I do not wish to bottle things up like I did when I was younger. I like it when people read my diary and give me feedback, but it is not the main reason for my writing, I write for myself, and I hardly ever think of other people reading it when I am writing it. There were a great number of things that were never posted coz I didn't want people to read it. But I still wrote it down, and it still helped me.
I like it now, I can write what ever I want and I know that the person I like will not read it.
And now I am rambling, so I will stop typing :-) I just hope it all made sense...
///Simmo
A comment of "Tasha was so pretty" just made me remember how lucky I was to have her, and how unlucky I am now. (Dont worry Nashua anything can make me remember things, thats why I write so many blogs :P )
I just miss everything about Tasha, to look at her, hold her hand, listen to her voice. I know it was a relationshop where not much happened, but it doesnt mean that it didnt mean a lot to me. And however little I experienced, I still appreciated it, and want it again (although obviously with someone new).
And now that I have this "little crush" on Tori, it is just making myself feel for uncomfortable about myself or should I say insecure?
I knew this would happen, if I dont have validation on something I take it to the extremes, as I said in one of my earlier posts. I would much rather know anything, good or bad, at least it is better than thinking of something that is a fabrication of my own imagination.
But yet I stil write :P lol. And I write to get things out in the open, I do not wish to bottle things up like I did when I was younger. I like it when people read my diary and give me feedback, but it is not the main reason for my writing, I write for myself, and I hardly ever think of other people reading it when I am writing it. There were a great number of things that were never posted coz I didn't want people to read it. But I still wrote it down, and it still helped me.
I like it now, I can write what ever I want and I know that the person I like will not read it.
And now I am rambling, so I will stop typing :-) I just hope it all made sense...
///Simmo
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