Friday, March 19, 2004
A quote I heard from someone:
"Maybe a really good relationship is one where the learning goes both ways; where both members of the couple learn about new things from the other."
If those words are true than the relationship that I was in with Tasha was a good relationship.
I am still unsure of the feelings that I feel now, is it happiness for what I have experienced, Sadness that it is over, or both.
I look back at the times that I spend with Tasha and I smile, for they were good. And I still see them as good, even though I know I will never be with Tasha ever again.
I do not have any regrets from the relationship. Unless you count the things that I experienced out of sadness, anger or the time that I thought that it wasn't fair that it was over. At these times I still thought that I could get back together with Tasha, so I cannot rely on my feelings from back then.
Anyways, those times were good, and I think I know what that feeling is; its a feeling of longing. I want those feelings again, but don't missinterpret that, I don't want to somehow patch things up with Tasha and become her boyfriend again. I know that it is over and after each day I am beginning to move on. It is happening slowly, but it is happening.
I guess now I am longing for another relationship, something that will learn so much about myself and her.
The things that I got out of my relationship with Tasha was basically a major ego boost. I found out that a girl could find me attractive. I thought that could never happen, although it was inevitable that some girls would find me attractive.
And now that I know of the happiness that I can feel and the happiness I can give. I long to go out with someone.
Not putting Tasha down in any way. I am just speaking frankly. I want a relationship where she doesn't feel insecure about the slightest touch. "like candy, but you can't get the wrapper off" sums it up nicely. I am not blaming Tasha or myself anymore, whets done is done and thinking about the past in a negative way will not do me any good anymore. I want a relationship where more happens then just hugging and holding hands. I know that Tasha cared for me, but if she did, then why did she leave me for her ex? I wont continue on that note it leads me down a path that I have been down before, I want to look ahead.
And in the end, is it so selfish to want more, I just was to experience what it is like to kiss someone and for them to want to kiss me. That isn't selfish is it?
Most of my blogs have been very emotionally revealing, but this blog shows more than ever what I desire, and because of that, it is one of my most revealing.
I have learnt some things from Tasha yes, but that doesn't mean that is all that I can learn from life. I am not being selfish, neither am I blaming people, I'm not even bitter. I just want to move on from this part of my life...
///Simmo
"Maybe a really good relationship is one where the learning goes both ways; where both members of the couple learn about new things from the other."
If those words are true than the relationship that I was in with Tasha was a good relationship.
I am still unsure of the feelings that I feel now, is it happiness for what I have experienced, Sadness that it is over, or both.
I look back at the times that I spend with Tasha and I smile, for they were good. And I still see them as good, even though I know I will never be with Tasha ever again.
I do not have any regrets from the relationship. Unless you count the things that I experienced out of sadness, anger or the time that I thought that it wasn't fair that it was over. At these times I still thought that I could get back together with Tasha, so I cannot rely on my feelings from back then.
Anyways, those times were good, and I think I know what that feeling is; its a feeling of longing. I want those feelings again, but don't missinterpret that, I don't want to somehow patch things up with Tasha and become her boyfriend again. I know that it is over and after each day I am beginning to move on. It is happening slowly, but it is happening.
I guess now I am longing for another relationship, something that will learn so much about myself and her.
The things that I got out of my relationship with Tasha was basically a major ego boost. I found out that a girl could find me attractive. I thought that could never happen, although it was inevitable that some girls would find me attractive.
And now that I know of the happiness that I can feel and the happiness I can give. I long to go out with someone.
Not putting Tasha down in any way. I am just speaking frankly. I want a relationship where she doesn't feel insecure about the slightest touch. "like candy, but you can't get the wrapper off" sums it up nicely. I am not blaming Tasha or myself anymore, whets done is done and thinking about the past in a negative way will not do me any good anymore. I want a relationship where more happens then just hugging and holding hands. I know that Tasha cared for me, but if she did, then why did she leave me for her ex? I wont continue on that note it leads me down a path that I have been down before, I want to look ahead.
And in the end, is it so selfish to want more, I just was to experience what it is like to kiss someone and for them to want to kiss me. That isn't selfish is it?
Most of my blogs have been very emotionally revealing, but this blog shows more than ever what I desire, and because of that, it is one of my most revealing.
I have learnt some things from Tasha yes, but that doesn't mean that is all that I can learn from life. I am not being selfish, neither am I blaming people, I'm not even bitter. I just want to move on from this part of my life...
///Simmo
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